How I Am Learning To Respond, Not React To The Election

"You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn’t do anything to the object of its displeasure. So use that anger. You write it. You paint it. You dance it. You march it. You vote it. You do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it." -Maya Angelou

This was the first general election I have ever participated in. I stayed up till 1 a.m. in the multicultural lounge at my school holding the hands of my friends. We all went in with high hopes of electing a president we felt would protect minorities, stand up for justice, and represent the whole of the USA. As we saw state after state turn red, I watched as my friends of color went pale.

We cried.

One of my Puerto Rican friends called her mom and said that she was terrified she is going to start getting asked to show paperwork which she doesn't have since she was a natural born American citizen. Someone told her to get deported. My African American friends were afraid to go outside after seeing footage of people threatening the lives of black Americans and calling them the n-word. Women like me are afraid that if a man who brags about sexual assault can get elected, what does it say about rape culture in America? My friends who want to be teachers are questioning how they can teach their classes to not bully students who are different, when society is saying it is perfectly fine to bully those with disabilities and others in minority groups.

I am scared for my friends because it seems as though this culture is dehumanizing them and refusing to believe that their lives and voices matter.

In the first two days after the election, hate crimes occurred at a terrifying rate.

Yesterday I was mourning the ideals I thought my country had. But today I am back to fighting for them.

Originally published November 14, 2017

So I understand if you are afraid, feel betrayed or hurt or ashamed of your country. I understand. I am here to cry with, to listen to you, and to pray for you. But soon the time for crying will be over. He won. And his presidency may not be as bad as we fear. We have other voices in government. In two years we vote again for members of Congress, in the meantime we can write letters, hold marches, advocate. Many Republicans do not agree with the racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, and misogynistic rhetoric that has followed Trump and some of his supporters, so they will not allow some of his awful policies to pass. He is not a dictator, he has limitations. Politically, we need to do as Maya Angelou said, we can be angry, but we should not let it become bitterness. Anger is an emotion and you should always be allowed to feel what you feel. But we are called to love and be unified. Let's work together to use anger for positive change. Let's listen. Let's pray. Let's talk and march and create art and be heard. Let's vote. Let's call and sign petitions and volunteer. I have faith that somehow God will use this for good. So far I have seen minority groups banding together in love and support. I have seen white allies like me being forced to speak out. I have seen these topics finally brought up in the church.These next four years we must stay strong. We need not let bitterness grow within us.

Respect the office of the presidency. You don't have to respect the individual who holds it. But please respect the office. Please use the political process, use the media, use art, use love, use your voices to make the change you want to see. Remember to listen to others as you want to be listened to. Remember to respond in love.

My friends, I am afraid, but I know that I have a God who is bigger than my fear and who loves all of us. Yesterday I was mourning the ideals I thought my country had. But today I am back to fighting for them. I will pray for the leaders of our nation and I will pray for wisdom and love for all people. I will support and lift up the voices of my friends who are not in the position of privilege I have as a white, able-bodied, heterosexual, Christian. I will respect and obey those above me as long as no injustice is committed. I love you all. I pray for you all, regardless of who you voted for.

To My "Baby" Sister Who's Not So Little Anymore

I can't believe you are 16 already. In my head, part of you will always be the little girl who beat me in wrestling matches in the basement, the one who made me look for fairies every single camping trip and the one who always chose the bigger cookie. But I am astonished by the woman you are growing up to be.

We haven't always gotten along, no sisters do. But now you are my best friend, my closest confidante and the one I can always count on to to call my on my BS or give me an honest opinion. You have grown up into a strong, intelligent and independent woman. There is so much I admire about you. Your way with little kids. Your excellence in school. Your dedication to and love of sports regardless of how many times you get injured. Your loyalty to your friends. I am so excited to see who you will become as you spread your wings.

Sweet 16 will bring with it driving, jobs, boys, and a whole host of responsibilities and adventures. Make the most of every minute. It won't always be easy. But growing up is the ride of a lifetime.

I am so proud of everything you have accomplished in your 16 years and I hope this next year is a great one.

6 Things I Learned From My First Semester At College

So I survived my first semester at college! And I loved every minute of it! Here are a few things that I've learned in my first 14 weeks away from home.

1. College is very different than high school

This is a cliche but it's so true. At college you are in control of your schedule. You choose which classes to take, which professors you have, and what you do with your free time. It's very easy to procrastinate without strict schedules and parents, but it's also very easy to develop time management skills and get involved in all kinds of activities. In college, at least at a small school like mine, you also have the opportunity to get to know professors in a way that just isn't possible in high school.

2. Getting out of the dorm is important

Homesickness is a very real struggle, and so are boredom and depression. All of which get worse when you are inside the same four walls doing nothing all day. I can't stress enough how important it is to go out and do things. Whether it's playing a sport, joining an academic club, going to town with friends, or even just hanging out around campus, do not stay in your room all the time. It's nice to have a place to retreat to and feel at home it, but make sure you aren't there 24/7.

3. Finals are survivable

Finals week sucks, there's no denying that. But there are ways to get through it without going completely insane. First, don't save all of your studying for finals week. Make sure you are working on final papers and projects in advance and doing at least some of the reading you need to. Then, prioritize and make sure you include time to de-stress. My friends and I popped bubble wrap, ate ice cream, had a rotation of naps, colored, and screamed at midnight every night to help eliminate some of the stress we had.

4. Everyone's roommate relationship will be different and that's okay

My roommates and I are best friends and plan on living together next year. I have other friends who cohabitate with their roommates and get along fine, but aren't necessary close friends. And I know people who for various reasons switched their rooming situation at the end of the first semester. Every situation is different and it is all a learning experience. Regardless of who you room with and what your relationship with them looks like, learning to live with another person. or more than one other person, is an important part of the college experience and growing up.

5. College friendships form deeply and quickly

Relationships in college seem to develop faster than any other friendships I have had so far. I don't know if it was because we were living in close proximity to one another or because we were all going through the same huge life changes at the same time, but by the end of the first month most people I know had established a core of friends that only grew and deepen as the semester progressed. College friends see you at the worst part of your mental breakdowns and at your highest moments. If you find the right people, they may even become your second family.

6.If you are struggling, take advantage of resources on campus

College is hard. Whether you are struggling academically, homesick, or going through a difficult time, a lot of schools offer various resources such as tutoring, a writing center, or even counseling. They are there to help, and you do pay for these services, so you might as well take advantage of them to help yourself be your best in all areas of life.

An Open Letter To My Uneducated Professor

This letter was written by one of my classmates and best friends after she discovered extremely racist comments on her professor's blog. When she commented on the his statements to him, she herself was racially attacked. The administration at our school has been supportive and the situation and individual have been dealt with appropriately, but she felt called to share this letter to inspire others who have faced similar oppression.

To My Uneducated Professor,

There are so many things that I wish to say to you but as I write this letter, but my mind goes blank on how to say exactly what I want.

When I read your posts on your blog, I see a white, heterosexual, educated, christian male who pretends to be colorblind. You believe that there is no race problem in America and anyone who disagrees with you is an imbecile or delusional, as if you (a white, heterosexual, educated, christian male) knows all there is about any form of oppression, let alone modern day racism. Who are you to say that racism doesn’t exist when you wouldn’t be able to recognize it if it hit you in the face. Oh wait…I’m sorry, it did and you didn’t even notice.

You have no right to talk about what racism looks like because you have not, are not and will never experience it. No longer does it appear as lynchings out in the field or blatantly segregated public buildings. It is being followed around a store at the mall while I am hanging out with friends because they are afraid i am going to steal (I am black so obviously that’s what I went to the mall to do). It is getting turned down for a job or housing, not because I wasn’t qualified (I had the same qualifications as the next candidate) but because I didn’t fit the image that they were going for. And for those who cannot figure it out, the person they were looking to hire wasn’t black.

It is our young men being expected to end up in jail not college. It is us, as young black women, to be expected to have lots of kids and lots of baby daddies with the drama to go with it. It is our men being stereotyped as mean, tough, calloused, violent and difficult. It is our women expected to have big boobs, a big butt and a tiny waist with long, pin straight hair. But we are called ghetto, loud, constantly angry with an attitude, unloveable and only good enough to be a “side hoe”. Modern day racism is the fact that our young men are being killed with little to no cause, little to no justification and instead of being punished for it, the police are protected and put on paid leave; let off with no charges and given pats on the back or high fives.

Being black in America is hard not only because of the systematic setbacks or the constant flow of microaggressions but because people like you feel like you have the authority to tell me and my fellow melanated sisters and brothers how to feel about the way the world actually treats us.

I say all of this to say that I want to thank you. Thank you for giving me a wake up call and showing me that people like you still exist in this world. I like to surround myself with people who understand and/or can empathize with my struggle and sometimes I forget that my job as an activist is not done because I found people who get it, who get me. You have reminded me that the world is far from where it should be. You made me realize that I have a lot more people to prove wrong and I look forward to it, starting with you!

Sincerely,

Your Oppressed Student

Speak Up For Unity

originally posted November 7, 2016

This Saturday a neo-nazi white supremacist group held a rally at the state capital building in Harrisburg. At the same time, in a high school across town, an event called Speak Up For Unity was going on.

It was not a protest of the hate group's rally, but was instead focused on cancelling out all hate with unity, equality, and nonviolence.

I had the privilege of attending with a group of friends the Multicultural Council at Messiah College. It was such an incredible experience.

People of every age, from babies to grandparents, with skin in every shade, from different religions, different ethnic and cultural backgrounds, different political beliefs, different socio-economic levels, different education levels, and different level of privilege and oppression joined together to share community. As soon as I walked up to the school I was taken up in a bear hug by one of the coordinators, who was thrilled that students cared about unity. We sang "We Shall Overcome," listened to spoken word poetry that moved my soul, watched the performances of dancers and drummers and, most importantly, we were reminded of the importance of diversity.

Yesterday I was a part of an extended family . Yesterday I was able to stand up against racism, not with more hate, but with love. Yesterday we were unified, brothers and sisters standing together. I am so grateful that I had this opportunity. I am so grateful that I go to a school that sees the importance of speaking up against injustice and of celebrating diversity and equality. I hope that I can live every day reminding myself of God's love for the world, regardless of race, and of the importance of being unified.

I've Found My Drug

Today I realized that I have an addiction. My drug increases my heart-rate, it compels my mind, it leave me high for hours after.

My drug is discussion. Not small talk about the weather. Real honest discussion.

Let's debate about politics. Let's challenge each other's religious views. Let's push each other towards intellect. Let's feed of the energy of each other's passions. Let's combine facts and opinion and form conclusions about the world we live in.

This is my high.

The moment when you are in such intense discussion that the whole class skips lunch to continue the seminar. Or when a professor challenges your statement and then say "Don't stop. Keep thinking". The time when friends really challenge one another to expand their world view; or to defend it.

I don't love this because I'm always right. In fact it's the opposite. I love when I'm wrong. Because it is when I am wrong that I learn. I want people to point out the fallacies in my logic, to tell me facts I didn't know, to introduce me to their passions, and to make me question what I took to be the correct opinion when it might just be an opinion.

And I hope I can sometimes play the same roles for others.

This is an addiction I hope I never lose. I pray that people continue to challenge me intellectually, emotionally, spiritually. I pray that I never lose the courage to challenge others. And most of all I pray that I will keep an open mind so that when I am proved wrong it generates change in me rather than falling on deaf ears.

Happy Birthday Mom

Let me tell you guys about the most amazing person in the world. Stacie Ann Rockhill, my mom, is the strongest woman I know. She shines light into the lives of everyone around her and rarely asks for anything in return. She has overcome so much in her life and uses all of her trials and blessings to bless others.

Mom is incredibly smart and she gave me my love of learning. She loves God and people with a whole heart. She is full of compassion, gratitude, empathy, strength, and independence. She is passionate about the Earth, about her heritage, and about service. She cries at everything, a trait she got from my grandfather which I inherited from her. My mom is full of life and energy and I hope I become half of who she is.

She loves to laugh and hike and be with her family. She loves children and crafting. She gives the best advice and the best hugs. 

Today is her birthday. She is another year young and I wish I was there to celebrate with her. 

Mom is my role model. The greatest compliment I've ever gotten was being told that I was like my mother. 

Mom- I hope you have an amazing day because you deserve it. I love you to the moon and back. Happy Birthday